I was on Google earlier today searching for the lyrics of The Fray’s How to Save a Life and before I even finished typing the keywords, among the first search suggestions to appear was: how to make a baby. I’ve seen this suggestion a couple of times every time I search “how tos” on Google but only now has it occurred to me how absurd that baby making statement is – it is not us who determines the success of the union between the sperm and the egg. We are powerless over fertilization as we are incapable of choosing our skin color or the families we are born in. Our roles in baby making is simply to enjoy and exercise intimacy with our spouses and hope for the best. Welp, that is if we’re talking about natural conception.
Anyway, it has been nine days since the beginning of our summer break and I have spent it mostly on meeting with other people. Normally, I would have spent my time at home oversleeping, reading, sitting in front of the PC, but I guess this is me compensating for that two-month self-imposed isolation [I actually managed two months of distancing myself from others wow go Jad, slack off pa]. So this is where I am at now: constantly counting my days and wondering when I can put this or that person in my schedule among the other things that I should really be making time for e.g. studying, working on that research paper, etc. It’s weird but ever since the break started, I feel like I don’t have enough time. Not enough time for what? I’m not sure. Study? Hobbies? Catching up on life in general? It’s unsettling. (Sigh)
I’ll be a junior medical student this August, dear reader, and the reality that I am drawing closer and closer to the time that I will go on full hospital duty is daunting.
One at a time, Jad.
One worry at a time.