I am writing this sober.

I am not drunk. I’ve drunk more shots in the past to the point of inebriation- two shots hasn’t reached that point yet despite how hard the drinks were.

The room is dim with disco lights flashing all around. Loud voices talking in unison fill the room but it does not drown Passenger’s Let Her Go playing on the radio. What an ironic combination: a bar playing breakup music. It started with a room packed with people with barely any space to move. Slowly, seats and tables were vacated and the people vanished to other places. I think meeting people in bars is a weird way to socialize. You go through the effort of introducing yourself against the noise only to forget about them the following morning. I’ve met a couple of people tonight. A lot of whom I can barely recall as I type right now.

The dim lighting, the flashing lights, and the upbeat music – all these plus the alcohol make loosening oneself easier to do. The more you drink, the more uninhibited you become, the easier it is to do the things you want to do. Is it all worth it, though? The fun and the booze? After what transpired tonight, I can say with better perspective what an empty and fleeting happiness it is.

I’ve seen what I wanted to see. I’ve tasted what I wanted to taste.

I’ve had my fill.


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