I played the violin again today.
I didn’t sound good. I didn’t expect to sound good after months of not touching the violin. Nevertheless, I attempted to play Phantom of the Opera’s All I Ask of You.
I remember my high school days: the times I spent going over the same song again and again just so I could master it, the times I spent looking for sheet music or the ones I spent listening to songs I could add to my repertoire. We were a budding ensemble, my friends and I – if only we gave it the effort necessary to deserve the recognition. Still people asked us to play during programs and more than twice were we asked to play for weddings.
The ensemble stint lasted until we were college sophomores, after which we stopped getting invitations and eventually we stopped playing as a group altogether.
I miss those times. I miss playing with a group and finally getting the music right after much repetition. I know it’s frustrating, but more often, it’s those moments of messing up that I remember fondly: how we would laugh at ourselves for never getting it right after going over the same bar over and over again and how we would all grin widely with accomplishment when we finally do.
My goal as a violinist back then was to make people cry with my music. That goal never came true. When I started playing for weddings, I set a different goal: to make music so beautiful that when people heard it, they would feel exactly what the song was conveying (the feeling of being in love).
I never got to reach that goal either. My time with the violin was replaced with other things and I forgot about my goal. However, whenever I hear tender music like All I Ask of You, my heart flutters in delight and very briefly do I smile in amusement and acknowledge to myself that yes, in another life, I would be a wedding violinist. 🙂