Personal

Remembering Yesterday: IDILY

Disclaimer: post-movie feels; please excuse uncharacteristic writing- malalim ang pinaghugutan; may contain profanities; also, spoilers

So I just finished finished watching I’m Drunk, I Love You and let me just say: PKSHTTT.16003 Tagos to the bones!

*composes self*

Okay.

*deep breath*

Sorry about that.

Anyway, shucks- I can not get over how agonizing the movie was. It’s everything I imagined and hoped it to be but better. The cast, cinematography, music – everything – fit perfectly together you  I can’t help but love it.

But I guess more than anything else, apart from my fascination for sad love stories, I love the movie (even before I saw it) because the story hits very close to home. If it came out a year ago, the similarity would be uncanny. It would be like a movie of my love life except that I’m not as hardcore and drunk as the female lead was. In a different life, maybe, I could be her but not this one.

Post-movie feels aside, it sucks to be in Carson’s place. I know. I’ve been there. Kana pa jung feeling na “betsh ngano siya?” paita. Saklap to the nth level. Buti na lang I’m long over it and yes, alcohol did make it easier to talk when one couldn’t say it out loud and it’s friggin’ breaking one’s heart. And so, after a night of karaoke and drinking, I woke up to the reality that there were things more important than my feelings and at that time, I was to be a friend more than anything else.

Things were never more than they were, I realized. The line between us was always there and we never crossed it. I don’t think we ever will. Nor do I think will I ever become as brave as Carson to admit my feelings out loud to the person.

Or I don’t know.

Maybe in a few years, when we’re older, when it comes up, I’ll talk about it. Jokingly. Candidly.

Sober.

Definitely not drunk.

I can handle it.


Before I end, here’s a song from the movie:

Di mo man madama

O kay tagal din kitang minahal

Buti nalang at graduate na ako [sa iyo].

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