With the vastness of this world we are living in explorations are not confined to jungles and remote areas. Explorations can happen at our very homes as we look for that long-forgotten key to unlock the mysterious box just recently uncovered or in our relationships when we try new things with friends and discover the things that we share or do not share in common with them or when we try new fancy restaurants across the street. We all are explorers of some sort: city explorer, outdoor explorer, life explorer, love explorer, people explorer, etc. Unfortunately, the kind of exploration I want to do right now lays outside the safety and comfort of home: wilderness exploration.
Just a few minutes ago, I spoke to a friend who is currently doing field work in Antique, Panay. Hearing some of his stories and experiences in the field makes me wish I came with them. No, not for research purposes- I have no incentive to do that haha- but for mere “urban catharsis”. The city can get so distracting and noisy at times. But now that I have no reason to go camping anymore, I think it would be long before I experience that again. I wish my parents were outdoor enthusiasts. I miss outdoor activities!
Nevertheless, my recently-developed interest in such, however I may miss it, is to be put on hold for the mean time as I embark on a new exploration in the world that is medical school. I wonder what it will be like when I will finally be in there. Will it be as demanding as they say it is? Will it be as difficult? Will I enjoy it there? I can’t wait to know. At the same time I’m nervous. What does med school hold for me? What does the future look like for me?
That same friend I spoke to tonight also shared to me about how he felt about the result of his scholarship application. Even though he felt kind of disappointed that he didn’t get in, I could see that he wasn’t that bothered by it considering the many back-up plans he has on his sleeve. Another friend who applied for the same scholarship and didn’t get in also spoke to me today and though he was hopeful for the second batch of results, I knew he has questions on his mind: what to do, where to go, how to do it- things like that. Another friend of mine just got a teaching job in our department and as I congratulated/teased him about it, he told me he was scared. I guess it’s comforting to realize that I’m not the only one thinking and asking. My friends are in the same boat, too, although their questions come in different forms.
It really is different when you grow older: life is no longer structured for you. You make choices and become responsible for those choices. You become less and less dependent on your parents. You start earning and living on your own. In not so many words, you become your own person. And, hell, it is scary. One moment you think you are big enough to handle and navigate the world on your own, the next thing you realize, the world is bigger still with all its twists and turns.Sometimes, it can get so overwhelming the gravity of it all- deadlines, responsibilities, obligations, etc. Sometimes, too, it can get monotonous and dull. A mere routine. I guess this is when we ought to realize that we don’t stop at being what we professions or jobs we have.
If there is anything we do not cease being, it is being explorers. There is still so much to discover in this amazing world and in the lives we live. We just need to be brave and see life in a new perspective in order to begin again. To do better than yesterday. To explore that horizon waiting for us.