Personal

When Summer ain’t Summer

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The last panel is on point because the academic calendar shift has pushed summer break to June instead of April. Honestly, I still haven’t adjusted to the change in schedule. If it weren’t for the frequent rain, I’d still think it was April. But, alas, it is June and we are halfway through 2016. How time flies, doesn’t it? *blink, blink*

So how have I been spending the break? As a graduating student, I can’t say I’ve fully enjoyed the break just yet; requirements and clearance items compel me to go to school and so I go even when I would rather lie in bed all day or watch all the movies I’ve accumulated over the semesters (yes, semesters). So far I have attended two seminars, participated in a mock job interview, and actually applied for a job. I was also able to comply my requirements and process my liabilities. I have also gotten my toga so I guess I’m ready for graduation, eh?

Not really.

Emotionally, that is.

I went to school yesterday and just seeing my classmates makes me miss them already. Graduation day is approaching and it is in no way slowing down. Not that I would want it to, but what I want is to freeze the moment and stay there even for just a wee bit longer. To remain as the boisterous carefree and fun-loving students that we are… living on the same page… walking the same journey… because let’s face it: we will all be embarking on different roads come graduation. That same day, I confronted a friend about something and somewhere in our conversation we came to this:

Me: I don’t understand why this had to happen now… now that we’re almost graduating.
Friend: That’s okay. There’s still two years of graduate school.
Me: It’s not the same.

I didn’t mean to be negative towards someone who was having it rough but, really, who were we kidding? Things are going to be different. Life will be harder on us. Responsibilities, obligations, and priorities will lead us to pursue different things. Meet ups are not impossible, but I do think they will be difficult. The people who will remain in our lives are the ones who actually want to and the ones whose relationships we choose to maintain. One thing I’ve learned in college from high school friends is that if there isn’t a specified date for that rendezvous, there isn’t going to be one regardless of the well-intentioned sentiments for catching up. Like I said: you choose who to keep in your life.

It saddens me, really. I will miss being an undergraduate student. I will miss being with my friends. But this is a stage we all must go through and there is no escaping it. Not when it is something we are walking towards.

Last April I was getting myself ready for the inevitable farewells that graduation will bring. I was actually slowly detaching myself from my friends in the hopes of making things easier when the time comes. Right now, I feel ashamed to have ever thought that way. Yes, goodbyes are painful, but it is as Winnie the Pooh says, “How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.” So I guess despite the pain of separation, in my four years of college, on the road in which I have initially refused to take, I have found something that makes saying goodbye difficult and that in itself is something to be thankful for.

With a smile and a heavy heart, I say: it has been a wonderful ride.

I am glad to have been led here.

Thank you, Lord. 🙂

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