This incoming school year would be my last year in college (with God’s grace). I’d be a professional afterwards. A professional biologist at that majoring in Zoology. It’s a big title when I actually think about it. I mean, to be a professional means you have ample knowledge and experience about your field even if it’s just base knowledge.  I wonder if I’ll do well as a biologist. Not that I’m considering the occupation, I mean, med school is what’s up mext for me, but it would be nice to at least actually make use of what I’ve learned in the past four years in the field.

Working with field biologists last month was an eye-opener. I got to see that there really is work for a biologist after graduation aside from teaching. Yes, I’ve been told about that occasionally during lectures but it’s different when you actually get to observe the work yourself. And living in tents isn’t so bad surprisingly. Yes, it’s uncomfortable and inconvenient (not to mention devoid of plumbing, technology’s assistance, electricity, and of course, internet), but you eventually get used to it. You actually eventually learn to like it in the forest. Even sampling for animals become interesting much more when you gather significant findings for the expedition. It would be nice.

Even just for a year.

Anyway, I’m turning twenty this year. Let me repeat that. Twenty. T w e n t y. Wow. Goodbye teenage life and the license to act stupid, hello (young) adulthood. It’s still hard to digest honestly. I still struggle with petty time-killers, get hooked with movies too easily and the likes. I find it difficult at times to manage my time— my life. Which is why I find it preposterous how some of my batchmates have kids already. Like really? A kid? And you’re a kid yourself? I’m not judging. People make mistakes. It’s just that when I look at them, I feel pity for them. The difficulty of raising a child… sigh. They don’t know what they’re in for.

These days I ask myself what to do with my life. I mean, yes, I go to med school and be a doctor and do those medical stuff and maybe get married and start a family, etc. But most of the time I change the question to: Lord, what do you want to do with my life? Because really, this isn’t my life. I was bought with a price. At the moment, I still haven’t heard an answer. Maybe I haven’t prayed enough. Maybe I don’t listen enough.  Until then, I guess the best I ought to do is to just do my best in whatever I’m in. In this case, school. Of course, I need to graduate. Nevermind the thesis awards. I need to a thesis that lets me graduate and if it happens to be the same study that gets attention, praise God.

I suppose that’s the best thing to do.

For now.


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