Personal

I don’t know how many days, weeks, months, maybe years it would take for me to be able to produce a beautiful sound on the violin. Yes, I can play but I find my music mechanical and insipid (mediocre even) despite having played the violin for almost six years now. Well not that years are a measure of musical expertise, but six years ought to account for some level of decent playing, don’t you think?

Lately I have been thinking of wanting to sound good for a change.

I want to play confidently. I want to make music so sweet it reminds its listeners of the bliss of their first loves or of warm childhood memories. I want to stir people’s hearts when I play. I want to them to actually feel something and contain that feeling rather than just sit through my whole performance and immediately forget about what I played the moment I end my presentation. Okay, that may be too much too ask, but it won’t hurt to dream, right?

…but unless I commit to spend a good amount of time running through exercises, I don’t think I’ll ever achieve anything noteworthy as that.

Sigh.

Oh, Ben, how I long for that day.

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