Personal

Dear Ben

My violin teacher once said,

Playing the violin (or any instrument for that matter) is a lot like courting a woman: in order to know her, you got to study her. In studying her, you must also be consistent– you can’t study her today and not do it the next day when you don’t feel like it. The more you get to know her, the more she shows you facets of her that you’ve never known before. The more you spend time with her, the more she reveals herself to you, the more beautiful she becomes. You will know you have gone farther than when you first began when you finally learn to read her eyes, the lines in her lips, the crease in her eyebrows, the motion of her body. It lies therefore in your hands how fast the progress in getting to know her will be.

Yes, ultimately, she will sing for you.

Her song shall articulate your desires, declaim your dreams, and parade your passions– she will sing your the song of your soul!

Dear Ben,

I was a half-*ssed elementary kid passing the threshold of elementary school and high school when I first met you. I am still half-*ssed but I believe I am not the same person as I was before. I have had days (even months) when you held a large portion of my interest, but those days have gone; age, along with the many responsibilities that came with it, made me forget the joy of you.

I reminisce the days when I would persevere in learning a song despite my throbbing fingers and wonder where all of that perseverance have gone. Right now, I cannot even bring myself to sit down through a few minutes of bow exercises which are nonetheless essential to improving my otherwise meager ability in playing the violin.

It has been almost 7 years since then yet I remain incompetent.

I know despite what other people tell me of my playing.

I know how much I lack soul in my music.

It has been a while but I suppose it isn’t too late yet to begin again from where I’ve left.

Cooperate with me, Ben.

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